Jack Grealish posts a pic of one beer and that’s him leading the Manchester City celebrations. And then there’s the security ‘hold-up’.
Now Manchester City have won the Premier League title, interest must quickly turn to something far more interesting. Why linger on a phenomenal ending to an extraordinary season when you can instead talk about the party that followed? Even though you have no idea what went on in there. Why should that stop anybody claiming to be able to take you ‘inside’ those celebrations? Especially when we can all pretend that Jack Grealish behaved badly with literally zero evidence…
‘Inside the Premier League title party: Jack Grealish leads the boozy celebrations for Man City, downing’ many beers ‘at their bash at the Ivy, with players partying until 3am after seeing off rivals Liverpool’
That’s the MailOnline. Now we are happy to be corrected on this but we do not think the Mail’s resident nu-metal fan Dan Ripley was invited to The Ivy so we’re not convinced that he can take us ‘inside’.
As it turns out, the only place he can take us is Instagram and The Sun website.
And how do we know that ‘Jack Grealish leads the boozy celebrations’? Well, just because he posted himself on Instagram early in the day that his dressing-room beer was ‘the first of many’. Turn that neatly on its head and we have Grealish ‘downing’ (it’s always ‘downing’) ‘many beers’.
Now he probably did drink ‘many beers’ but that’s not information gleaned from ‘inside’ the celebrations but an Instagram post hours before.
Paparazzi then took pictures of him leaving The Ivy at 3am. He looks absolutely fine but:
‘Grealish was among those who looked to have enjoyed the celebrations, as he stumbled out of the restaurant with assistance, having promised he would enjoy winning the Premier League for the first time in his career.’
Did he stumble out of the restaurant with assistance? There are two images of Grealish outside The Ivy and frankly, he looks grand for a man who has been celebrating for about nine hours.
‘The midfielder’s post-match celebratory drinks had long since started before he even got to the Ivy as he posted a photo of him sipping a lager in the City dressing room with the caption’ Ooffft the first of many ‘while adding an emoji of a couple of beers. ‘
Yes, his celebratory drinks had started along with pretty much the rest of the Manchester City squad. Then he drank some more, with almost all of the Manchester City squad. Then he left the celebrations. Did he ‘lead’ them? F *** knows because we weren’t there.
Over at the Mirror website, Tom Blow also promises a peak ‘inside Man City’s title celebrations as Jack Grealish leads stars on epic night out’. Was Blow invited to talk cricket with Gabriel Jesus? It seems unlikely.
He tells us that ‘leading the celebrations was Jack Grealish’ and again the only evidence is an Instagram post and a paparazzi shot.
Over at The Sun, they say – in amongst the photos of ‘stunning Wags’ – that Grealish’was held up by security as he exited the premises’. Oddly, The Sun chose a picture of Grealish where a burly man is holding his arm and not any of the many others where he is walking unaided.
Oh and the same image (of Grealish ‘held up by security as he exited the premises’) is used elsewhere by the Mail with the caption of ‘Grealish was joined by a bodyguard as he made his way into The Ivy on Sunday evening’. So he was either going in or out and he was being ‘joined’ or ‘held up’. Whatever. All we know is that big boozing Grealish was ‘leading’ the celebrations.
But the big Grealish news of the day comes on the Daily Star websitewho know exactly what they are doing with this:
‘Grealish invites Neville’s daughter to City night out.’
She’s 12. And he also invited Neville himself, at the request of Micah Richards. But well done on making him sound like a right dirty b * stard.